By Mac McGregor
Before I married a bisexual hippy mystic, I would have never been caught in tie-dye. Now I own a couple of tie-dye shirts and a pair of boxers. Who would have ever thought it could be so? Better call the fashion police.
This hippy bisexual spiritual woman has also helped me embrace the concept of family in a happy, positive way. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family, and her hippy family embraced me right away, even as a trans guy, and has treated me better than most of my blood family.
I grew up in the Southern Baptist and Assembly of God churches where hippies were thought to be lazy, drug-induced, sex-crazed people we should not hang around. You know, sinners… Well, I have gained a new-found respect and fondness for hippies. I was also taught that mystics, psychics, witches, and such were from the devil. Now, I did not believe all that the church fed me for sure, but that influence did, I will admit, make me a bit more leery of people involved in mystic stuff for a long time. Boy, have things changed. My wife has been a mystic and psychic for many years and she is not evil.
The level of acceptance that she grew up with, no matter who she was or is now, amazes me, and she has passed that acceptance on to me. As a trans person, it is rare to date someone who does not make a big deal about someone being different, which I get – we are rare. Dawn has never once made me feel unaccepted, or that anything about me made her feel uncomfortable, unsure, or hesitant. That is very healing and allows me to feel free in our relationship. It also helps with bringing her around all my eclectic friends and the unique events I attend.
This mystic is also a deep communicator who verbally processes everything. I am a great communicator when teaching, but have not been so much in relationships. My mother is on her 10th marriage so, needless to say, I did not have good examples growing up of couples working stuff out in a healthy way. I have read a great deal, but no book has helped me grow in this type of communication more than being with a woman who will not let me get out of talking it through. And to my amazement from the environment I grew up in, she still loves me even when we disagree. I think because I grew up in an environment with a revolving door of relationships, I never felt like anyone meant it when they said they would be there. Now I do.
Being with such an open-minded, accepting soul has also helped me evolve sexually. I now totally consider myself pansexual and she has evolved to that, as well. Our exploration and discussions of this entire fallacy of gender that we have been fed by society has brought me to the fact that I never again would adjust my attraction to a person due to gender, but rather due to intelligence, how they treat others, character, sense of humor, and such.
I’ve introduced her to the blues, Barbra Streisand, Liza, and Pink, and she has taught me more about Nine Inch Nails and Kate Bush. I taught her about sports, and she has gotten me to paint again. She was a cat person and I was always a puppy person. We have now combined that and are parents of both.
I think part of what makes it all work is that we embrace and enjoy one another’s quirks, such as:
I have more dress shoes than she does (we laugh about this all the time, she married a jock metrosexual);
She writes poetry about BEETS (I remember she told me this on our second date, and I said, “That is really cute, but you probably should not tell people that!” I was kidding);
She won’t eat an apple unless someone else cuts it up for her. (I’ve cut more apples than ever before); and
I am so funny about my hair being just right (she has never had a guy so fussy about how he looks, but I think she has learned to appreciate it).
We all have funny little quirks, and these are just a few of ours. Part of being in a happy relationship, in my opinion, is appreciating those quirks and even finding them adorable – and we do.
We have already walked through some wonderful (and some very tough times) together. We have seen each other at our best and our worst, our healthy and our sick. She even embraced me running for office. We have been through having sick family members, long road trips, and facing discrimination, and we still like and love each other. Queer relationships can have some unique challenges, and yet, with two people with open hearts surrounded by amazing friends and family, they can flourish. That Big Queer Wedding and marrying this hippy mystic was the best decision I have ever made.
Follow Mac Scotty McGregor via Facebook at The Gender Sensei and Mac – Activist – Politician. He’s also on Twitter @Mckick. You can also learn more about his political work via the website www.votemacmcgregor.com.